At the risk of you thinking that I'm a flaming homosexual who checks out guys, here are a few musings on some of my colleagues in IFC.
Pi Kapp: Do you have black gelled hair? Are you from Miami or Long Island? Do you enjoy cutting perfectly good sleeves off of t-shirts to show off your extraordinary biceps? Are girls in sundresses banned from stepping foot into your home? Is your girlfriend a Deepher? If you answered yes to those questions, you are probably an '07 (or '06, or '05, or '04...) Pi Kapp.
Theta Chi: I saw a pledge wearing what I suspected to be women's sunglasses. That's basically my only reason for putting them on this list. I guess this will teach their pledge trainer to do a little more training in the future - see how one bad seed can ruin it for everyone? I'm allowed to pull shit like that, because this is all based on my expert opinions, remember?
Phi Tau: They suck. Everyone already thinks this, but they all think no one else thinks it so they keep their mouths shut. Accept reality: most of them spike their hair a'la 6th grade, the majority look prepubescent and wear earrings, and distressed denim is an in-house mainstay. Yeah yeah, not all of them are into that shit, but a few clean cut guys in normal clothing are not going to make this house legit - sorry Phi Tau.
Phi Delt: Phi Delt is a respected fraternity...right? Wait, but who respects them? Phi Tau? Oh, yeah, that's because Phi Tau wants to BE Phi Delt. I have heartfelt sympathy for ATO having to be in such close proximity to these people.
Beta: What are you, a group of gay British aristocrats? Everyone can appreciate and enjoy an occasional game of croquet, but you are taking the "lawn games" thing too far. Listen, people are starting to talk - go play some golf, and maybe put on your shirts. I know you love tanning, but this is getting out of hand.